Ecumenical Methodism?

I am reading Thomas Oden's Doctrinal Standards in the Wesleyan Tradition. In one section, Oden notes that for all the ecumenical talk between the United Methodist Church and the various mainline denominations, there is almost no dialogue between the UMC and those who are nearer theological "family." This is despite the fact that the UMC and the other denominations within the Wesleyan/Holiness theological tradition actually have nearly-identical doctrinal standards.

I am not sure what it says about those ecumenical leaders--or some of our laity--that similar socio-political views are viewed as more important to the cause of unity than similar doctrines. The UMC's ecumenical leaders look to the ELCA, the United Church of Christ, and the Protestant Episcopal Church with their similarly-declining memberships and liberal social activism with higher regard than they do the Free Methodists, The Wesleyan Church or the Church of the Nazarene.

Are similar behavior, social standing and social views really more important than shared doctrine? I understand that some more conservative Wesleyan denominations have socially conservative rules like 'no dancing' or forbid the wearing of gold, but do they value these rules more than they value sound Wesleyan doctrine? And do we value our liberty to dance and wear gold more than shared communion with them? What would be the harm of engaging them in dialogue, as we do our brethren among America's "Seven Sisters"?